Blackhawk (Blackbird) Down


I’m a bit of an animal lover – not in a wellie boots on sheep kind of way – but someone who would stop to pat a dog and try to help an animal in distress. With this thought in mind you can imagine my horror as, merrily driving along a road one day, a Blackbird swooped out of a bush and flew directly under my car. Now typically when you look back in the rear view mirror there is nothing there as the bird miraculously flies out the other side unharmed. But not this time…lying in the road is a black lump.

Knowing this was not a good sign my immediate thoughts were, “please be dead, please be dead!” but no, as if to mock me, the poor thing suddenly comes back to life and starts flapping around on its back in the road – obviously in distress.

Now I could have driven on and put it out of my mind but I decided to man-up and put it out of its misery. By putting it out of its misery you probably assume I meant wringing its neck or something but, to be honest, that was far too close and personal, far too “manning-up”… I had a better idea.

My idea was to 3-point-turn, drive back down the road and run it over properly – quick and painless and seemingly very simple. So that is exactly what I did.

Two things transpired against me at this point to turn this from a clean coup-de-gras into an embarrassing episode that has haunted me for years. Firstly the bird was flapping about quite a lot and secondly, it is actually quite difficult trying to judge where your wheels are on the road whilst your eyes are tightly shut. Result – I missed it completely.

By now I was on a mission so 100 metres down the road saw me doing yet another 3-point-turn and lining up again…this time with my eyes open. Which is why on my second run I finally noticed the group of young children congregated at the roadside watching the bird being narrowly missed by a car that then turned around and deliberately drove back towards them and seemingly murdered it before their very eyes.

Next: Homemade Circular Saw


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